Mind Control?

Let’s try a little experiment. First, DO NOT THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT!!! O.K., now tell me what you just thought about…a pink elephant, right? Now this time I want you to really focus, really try hard. DO NOT THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT!!! How about now? Is that pastel pachyderm still there? If so, then congratulations! You are normal!

Whether it is a going on a diet, sticking to a budget, or any of the multitudinous self-imposed challenges that we face on a daily basis, the common element is control. Controlling our thoughts, impulses, and desires is considered to be a sign of strength and self-mastery, but that’s a lot of pink elephant poo. The bottom line is that control doesn’t work. It is a tactic rooted in fear.

Think about it, what is the fear behind the need to control? The fear is that if you don’t control, you will spin out of control and your life will be torn asunder by the winds of change. The sad irony is that in controlling, you guarantee that your life will do just that, and as all the little pieces start to slip from your fingers you can only watch as they go smashing to the hard floor of reality. Control is an illusion and it is one that is easily shattered in the face of death, disaster, and accidents. Barring incidents such as these, the attempt to control can perpetuate chronically and even take the form of diseases like addition and obsession.

What I then propose is an alternative to control, namely questioning. Rather than saying “no!” say “why?” Saying “why?” leads to openness and investigation. This allows you to get to the root of the thought, impulse, or desire rather than simply damming it up only to have it burst out in a deluge of destruction. If you are on a diet and you see a piece of chocolate cake, and suddenly all your good intentions go out the window, as yourself “Why do I want that piece of cake? How will eating it make me feel? How will not eating it make me feel? What will I gain? What will I lose?” Maybe after all of this you decide you really do want to eat the cake. Even then, ask yourself “How much cake do I want to eat? Is one slice enough or do I need to eat the whole thing?”

By opening up an inner dialogue within your own self you can discover what will really make you happy. Maybe it is not what you originally expected, or maybe it is and you’re now that much more committed. Either way your life will become a greater reflection of “what you really” (whatever that is) and it is likely that you will be much more satisfied with the results.