Thanks...for giving

With Thursday’s tryptophan infused frenzy starting to wear off I’m noticing a distinctly self-reflective bent to my thought process. After all the talk of thanking and giving it that it is my mind and not my stomach that is refusing to settle. “What am I striving for, and why? Are my aims altruistic or self serving?” And on and on and on.



A recent article in the most current issue of Outside Magazine posited that the marketing tactics used to sell soft drinks and toilet paper should be used to “sell” charities and causes. The reason? People want to feel good when they give. They want the warm-fuzzy feeling that comes from knowing that their $5 bought a book for the little girl with an exotic name. Donating that same $5 to fight something like “AIDS in Africa” doesn’t deliver the same emotional bang for the buck. The AIDS crisis is too big, too difficult, and too mired in dry statistics for most people to really get excited about. While the real need is unquestionably greater, the perceived impact that one person can have is diminished.



That brings me back to me. I’m confident that I really do want to “help people”. But, my own experience with clients tells me that the “lost cause” is much harder to get behind than the “success story”. In such situations I am usually quick to say “I can’t help someone who isn’t will to help themselves”, but I think that is only half of it. The other part of it is “I can only help someone who is helping me.”



I imagine that many people find themselves in situations where they are called to give, of money, time, or themselves, and they subconsciously weigh their emotional balance sheet. With the ideal of “giving freely” and selflessly at stake, it might be uncomfortable to consider selfish giving as the rule rather than the exception, but perhaps it’s a more honest, and not necessarily a wrong, position.



Perhaps in recognizing our deep seated motivations we can more effectively harness our own desire to do good and to feel good about it. Besides, who can argue against feeling like you are making a difference; that you are, in some small way, bringing about change in the world? When looking at a situation that seems utterly bleak and hopeless, zero in on something that is that is tangible and achievable to you. When you’ve successfully done your part, look for the next opportunity, and the next.



You’ll be more willing to make a dent in some of the world’s big problems when you can see your initials in the mark.