On repeat

Perhaps you’ve had this experience. You’re driving down the road and your mind starts to drift. Maybe you’re thinking of what you have to do later that day or mulling over something that has been troubling you. Next thing you know, you’re turning down a road that leads to school, work, or some other frequently traveled to destination. Without any conscious thought, you automatically headed where you usually go.

This habituation, or patterning, plays out in many aspects of our lives. In the field of exercise science, there is evidence to suggest that it takes 500 repetitions to learn a particular movement. However, to then change that movement requires over 3000 repetitions! Like a well worn path through the woods, our natural predilection is to create patterns. By automating activities our lives become more manageable. Imagine if, like a newly mobile toddler, you had to think about putting one foot in front of the other each time you went on a walk. You’d probably be about as productive as a toddler with your schedule looking something like “eat, poop, sleep, run amuck, and repeat”.

Too much automation can be detrimental though. Imagine a world where people move through life in a semi-conscious daze, perpetually multi-tasking, and only superficially aware of their surroundings. It’s actually not that hard to picture such a scenario as our culture condones this zombie-like condition, but the trick, is to learn how to create patterns when appropriate and to know how to re-create them when they outlive their usefulness.

Think about what parts of your life are on autopilot. Are there certain scenarios that seem to play out again and again? In the physical body, patterns are stored and reflected in our tissues, but in our subtle bodies of thinking and feeling patterns can be just as entrenched. Cultivating the ability to detach somewhat from the immediate crises through a practice of meditation, yoga, or simple mindfulness can be helpful in seeing patterns for what they really are.

It may be helpful too to remind yourself that you were born into this world as a clean slate. It was relatively easy to pick up patterns of self-care, self-abuse, and everything in between as a child and work of altering those habits takes exponentially more energy, but it can be done.

For example, if you want to improve your eating habits, start with something that is novel. Stopping yourself from doing something that you have done since you were a child, like eating chocolate when you are sad, may not be a good starting point as it is an entrenched habit. Instead, start with a brand new habit, like eating 5 pieces of fruit everyday. Your new goal will be much more accessible and will help build confidence that is needed for the larger effort of unraveling an emotional eating pattern.

Remember too, that just because it doesn’t seem like your efforts are creating an immediate effect that doesn’t mean the process of change isn’t occurring. When learning a movement, you don’t do it wrong 499 times and then on the 500^th time you do it right. Each step is a step closer to your goal.

The Finish Line

Innocent air searing

Stretching the limits of possibility

Pressing on

Mind reeling in disbelief

Spirit reveling in the moment

Body tossed amongst the waves

Metabolic waste, blacking out

Can’t go, will go, keep going

Fight, fight, fight to the end

Bit by bit

Out of all the benefits that I have derived from my regular exercise habit, the ability to take things one step at a time has had the greatest effect on my life outside of the gym. Prior to making regular exercise a part of my life, I tended to look at the big picture exclusively, and as a result, became easily overwhelmed. Writing out a list of goals for a specific workout, starting, gradually chugging away, and finishing them off one at a time, led me to a realization. I found that I could approach life in general in a similar manner. The BIG goal is really a series of very small goals which can themselves be subdivided even further into single steps. Putting this into practice took, well, practice, but I have met with success more often than not.

It’s worth mentioning that within this process, I do my best to maintain a spirit of flexibility and self-reflection. For example, if I find that there is internal resistance to a certain task I’ll take a step back and explore other corollary tasks to see if starting something else more easeful. Sometimes it’s just not the right time to do a particular thing! Or, if there is a strong sense that I need to switch gears and possibly re-evaluate whether or not the task at hand is a priority I will try to honor that feeling and allow my intuition to guide me towards more pressing matters.

I remember a particular incident when I was visiting a relative who was do-it-yourselfing a new cabin. On that day, he was taking on the electrical system. The job was ridiculously complex and there were piles of notes, wires, and various tools lying about in a chaotically organized way. When I asked him how he was able to do it, he remarked, “It’s like eating an elephant, you just take one bite at a time”.

‘Nuff said!

Breathe

The breath,

Cool undulating tidal rhythm,

Carrying life both subtle and gross,

Inspiring the source,

Filling from within,

Emptying from without.

Calming,

Caressing,

Cherished simplicity,

Essential.

The moment dilates with the flow and summons the present,

Clearing dust from the cusp of consciousness,

Raising leviathan from the deepest soul space,

Being becomes one with itself sending seeking tendrils into “other”,

Synaptic clefts are breached with prana’s power,

Plugged in but not tuned out,

Quivering silence envelopes the senses as they absorb infinite vibrations.

Mind Control?

Let’s try a little experiment. First, DO NOT THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT!!! O.K., now tell me what you just thought about…a pink elephant, right? Now this time I want you to really focus, really try hard. DO NOT THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT!!! How about now? Is that pastel pachyderm still there? If so, then congratulations! You are normal!

Whether it is a going on a diet, sticking to a budget, or any of the multitudinous self-imposed challenges that we face on a daily basis, the common element is control. Controlling our thoughts, impulses, and desires is considered to be a sign of strength and self-mastery, but that’s a lot of pink elephant poo. The bottom line is that control doesn’t work. It is a tactic rooted in fear.

Think about it, what is the fear behind the need to control? The fear is that if you don’t control, you will spin out of control and your life will be torn asunder by the winds of change. The sad irony is that in controlling, you guarantee that your life will do just that, and as all the little pieces start to slip from your fingers you can only watch as they go smashing to the hard floor of reality. Control is an illusion and it is one that is easily shattered in the face of death, disaster, and accidents. Barring incidents such as these, the attempt to control can perpetuate chronically and even take the form of diseases like addition and obsession.

What I then propose is an alternative to control, namely questioning. Rather than saying “no!” say “why?” Saying “why?” leads to openness and investigation. This allows you to get to the root of the thought, impulse, or desire rather than simply damming it up only to have it burst out in a deluge of destruction. If you are on a diet and you see a piece of chocolate cake, and suddenly all your good intentions go out the window, as yourself “Why do I want that piece of cake? How will eating it make me feel? How will not eating it make me feel? What will I gain? What will I lose?” Maybe after all of this you decide you really do want to eat the cake. Even then, ask yourself “How much cake do I want to eat? Is one slice enough or do I need to eat the whole thing?”

By opening up an inner dialogue within your own self you can discover what will really make you happy. Maybe it is not what you originally expected, or maybe it is and you’re now that much more committed. Either way your life will become a greater reflection of “what you really” (whatever that is) and it is likely that you will be much more satisfied with the results.

Right vs. Left

This isn’t the usual wannabe pundit’s diatribe, where, from the comfort of an easy chair, he/she spews liberal or conservative rhetoric at the masses. This is about the right and left hemispheres of the brain, sources or symbols of creativity and logic. And, rather than getting into a conversation where I make my case via spotty recollections of neuroscience journals and metaphysical literature, I’m simply going to relate a personal experience and you may glean from it what you will.

The other day I found myself with a little down-time and felt like it would be nice to practice some Tai-Chi. The particular form that I know is one that I picked up several years ago and actually taught up until recently. It is a 30 movement form designed for people with arthritis or other conditions which would preclude them from participating in a traditional Tai-Chi class. I find performing it to be a relaxing alternative to other forms of exercise, especially when I know that my body needs a break from high-intensity training.

I found a suitable space and began moving through the various postures. The essence of Tai-Chi, as I understand it, is to be physically rooted into the earth as well as mentally rooted to the present moment, so I set about doing just that. I completed the entire form twice through and was beginning my third and final round. Out of nowhere, I noticed a pronounced tingling sensation in the center of both palms. Immediately, I became aware that this was the opening of two energetic hot-spots that are much discussed in Chinese medicine (the specific name of these points eludes me but I recall that there name means “bubbling wells”). Continuing with the form I felt a familiar warm, tingling sensation rush through my body. This in itself is not unusual as I have experienced the sensation during meditation, long runs, practicing Chi-gung, and even while reading. The sensation is truly an ecstatic one and brings with it a marked clarity of thought and an awareness that I am experiencing something of great spiritual import. It is almost as if I am receiving an energetic gift from whatever power makes up the essential ground of creation. Good stuff right?

So, I finished the form and what do I do, I promptly begin discounting the experience via a stream of logical rationalizations and reductions. Why, after I felt my spirit profoundly stirred, would I immediately brush it off as the expulsion of neurotransmitters interfacing with the synapses of my brain? Witnessing this inner conflict play out, I reminded myself that I am not alone in this. Sometimes we experience a happening that transforms us and, once the initial giddiness wears off, we eagerly rush back into the comfort of our preconceived notions. Does it not take an equal leap of faith to believe that we exist as the result of random interactions between inert particles that just so happened to bump and grind into the multitudinous forms of life on this earth? My contention is that the various and seemingly exclusive systems of belief are not mutually incompatible. Whether a believer in Science, God, Allah, Earth spirits, The Tao, or whatever else it seems as if Reality willingly accommodates our notions regarding its nature.

What I am determined to take from this particular episode is that I have the option of taking MY reality at face value. If my personal experiences tell me something, why not listen? In embracing this path, I do have much to lose, namely comfort, predictability, and arrogance. Fear will present itself at every turn and my courage will be tested. However, there also seems to be much to gain. I can’t say what just yet, but that is likely the point.

"Healthy"?

Workout more, eat healthier, network, be productive, go go go!!! As a fitness professional, much of my time and energy is invested into figuring out ways to get people moving. Of course, I practice what I preach, so I’m on the go from sun-up to sun-down planning, pumping up, writing, and working. Being extremely passionate about fitness has served me well, but I do recognize that I am walking a fine line. How much exercise is enough? How much of a focus on healthy foods is healthy? When does productivity need to take a holiday?

Obsession and addiction can manifest in many different ways. For some it is gambling, shopping, over-eating, drinking, or drugs. Our cultural conversation dubs these habits “unhealthy” while being a workaholic, over exercising, and nit-picking food ingredient labels are considered “healthy”. It is no more justifiable to deem someone “flawed” due to their eating/exercise habits than to indict them for practicing another religion. I can personally attest to passing easy judgment on people who smoke or “eat crap”, but when I entertain these thoughts, it means that I am the one who needs a gut-check. While uncomfortable and challenging, looking into my own heart and rooting out the source of my feelings is the only way to truly grow.

Yes, exercise is good for your health. Yes, eating fresh whole foods nourishes your body. Yes, having passion and drive are important for achieving goals and dreams. However, these “healthy” habits become unhealthy when they cloud the big picture. In the grand scheme of things, our own body, mind, and spirit are primary. I believe that if we are committed to bringing out the best in ourselves we are much more capable of helping others when it is appropriate. Addiction and obsession are rooted in fear and a need to control. Just because our society labels an addition “healthy” doesn’t make it so. Living our lives with a sense of balance, compassion, and understanding will serve us more than forcing our beliefs on others.